


the mother we share

by biochemprincess



Category: 12 Monkeys (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, POV Multiple, Post - 2x13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7667047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biochemprincess/pseuds/biochemprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassandra Railly was 2 years and 8 months old when she met her younger sister for the first time, on a cool but sunny morning in June 1983. (It took 180 years to go back to the beginning.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	the mother we share

**Author's Note:**

> this started innocently and turned into a monster, sorry. big shout out to sarah for beta-ing this mess and making it readable. title comes from the song of the same name by 'chvrches' 
> 
> warning: there's a scene with the allusions to abortion. it's the first scene in 2163 that's from cassie's pov. it's nothing graphic, but you should still be warned.

   

 

 

> _Dr. Cassandra Railly, born October 3, 1980, Syracuse, New York. Oldest child. Intensive care, meningitis, 1986. Your mother died of an embolism in 1990. You went to medical school, Columbia. Viral containment for the CDC, 2015._  

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 1996**

She had seen them before, she thought. A few years ago, staring at her from a sidewalk in front of her house.

Just like now.

Yes, she was sure. She recognized the man, the blonde woman too.

The woman looked even more familiar.

Something about her eyes.

She reminded her of ---

"Helena?," the woman asked and her voice --- her voice was ---

She swallowed hard. "Yes."

"We need to talk to you," the man said and it was the end of the beginning.

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 1983**

Cassandra Railly was 2 years and 8 months old when she met her younger sister for the first time, on a cool but sunny morning in June 1983. She was still wearing her pyjamas with dozens of lady beetles on them.

"You have to be careful," her father said to her. The words meant very little to her back then, but his voice was soothing and soft and so she tried to be too. He took her hand and led her to the couch, where her mother sat with a bundle of blankets in her arms. Only at second glance, the baby was visible.

Her father sat down next to her mother, picking Cassie up and sitting her on his knees so she could get a better look. Her baby sister looked like one of her dolls, tiny and big big blue eyes; but with a fine fuzz of blonde hair her doll lacked.

Cassandra slowly extended her hand to touch her sister's soft cheeks. The baby looked back at her, right into her own eyes and then did something her parents would tell them about for ages, until it felt like Cassie could remember it herself.

Her newborn sister smiled for the first time. 

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 2163**

Three months.

Cole wanted to kick himself. Three fucking months had passed since his arrival in 2163 and he still couldn't quite figure out the system the guards used for their timetables. It wasn't a regular two hour shift with a calculated schedule; no, it was worse.

The men in the black robes didn't stick to any kind of schedule at all. Some days they hardly moved positions, other days they ran around like ants in an anthill set on fire.

Like they didn't care about time.

Which they probably didn't.

It was maddening.

Cole shifted in his position and groaned. The hard, cold forest soil wasn't going easy on his joints and the lack of sleep only made everything worse. But he would not rest easy until he brought Cassie back home.

The hill he had been camping on for weeks had a direct outlook over the city of Titan. And city was the only word big enough to describe the sheer size of it. The time machine, or whatever it was Elliot Jones had built, was only a small detail in a landscape of technology.

He had ventured into different parts of the compound every few days, but the irregular guard shifts and the labyrinth inside troubled him and held him back to some extent. He was just one man against an army of crazy soldier monks in black robes.

It would all be worth it though, as soon as he had Cassie back. They would return home and find a way to stop the plague. And then they would start anew. They would find a way to make it work.

Together.

Cole had never believed in fairy tales, in a happily ever after. His life resembled more a horror movie than anything else, and he wasn't the lost prince. Happy endings weren't for people like him, with absent mothers and dead fathers, boys living in foster homes and growing up in a dying world.

But if there was only one thing in the whole world he was sure of, in any moment of any timeline in all known and unknown universes, it was his unwavering faith in Cassie.

He loved her.

It wasn't enough, but maybe it could be. 

The wind howled through the forest, shaking leaves from the trees. Cole pulled his coat tighter around his neck and continued his watch. He'd have to act soon. The consequences might kill him, but he couldn't leave Cassie in their clutches any longer.

He wouldn't let her suffer anymore.

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 1986**

"Mama."

Her daughter's frail, white fingers wrapped around her hand, but there was no strength in it. Claire hated seeing her daughter like this, bedridden and battling a life - threatening sickness. She caressed her girl's feverish forehead, her little warrior girl.

"Shhh, Honey, preserve your energy."

"Why is Lena not sick?" she whispered.

"I don't know. Maybe your sister has a better immune system, my love," Claire deflected.

Claire smiled down at her, an uplifting expression gracing her features, she hoped. One daughter admitted to the hospital with bacterial meningitis was more than enough for her lifetime. Her small body was hooked up to too many monitors and fluid bags. It might be necessary, but it didn't make the image in front of her eyes any more bearable.

"That's unfair."

"Yes." Claire kissed the top of her daughter's head. "Sleep now, Cassandra, and heal."

 

* * *

 

_In hindsight you are always smarter._

_Sometimes you just need one small detail, the tiniest of puzzle pieces and the whole picture falls into place. Sometimes it feels like the sun rising on your face; sometimes it feels like driving your car down a cliff._

_There is a before and after the revelation. But you never know which version is more gentle with your heart, if your life is ever the same again._

_It's Schrödinger's paradox._

_You can't have both, knowledge and ignorance, before and after._

_So you have to choose._

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 2045**

"You sent him to the future?" Hannah could hardly believe her own ears. "Alone?"

"It was his wish," Jones answered without missing a beat. She didn't even tear her gaze from the control panels of the time machine.

"He'll die."

"Mr. Cole is quite a resourceful man, Hannah. If there is anybody qualified to bring Cassandra back, it is him."

Hannah raised an eyebrow, still not sold on the idea. "Sometimes love is not enough, Mother."

"Love is always enough." Jones clasped their hands together. "It defies everything, even time and death."

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 1988**

Cassie loved her sister. When her new teacher had asked the class at the beginning of the school year about their families, she had proudly talked about her younger sister Helena. They were two peas in a pod and where one went, the other one was not far behind.

But right now she could use a break.

"I need to do my homework, Lena."

"But I'm bored." Helena dragged the word ‘bored’ endlessly, until it had too many o's to count them anymore. She pouted, her eyes shining a little wet. Cassie was always impressed with her little sister's ability to cry on command. It had gotten them out of trouble and additional sweets from their grandparents more than once. It was a gift.

"Go play with some dolls."

Helena walked to the chair and hung onto the back of it like a monkey. "I don't want to play without you."

"Helena ---"

"Pleeeaaaasssee." Lena pressed her index finger into Cassie's shoulder, poking it nonstop. Then she went on to softly pull at her braid. "Please, please, please. Read me something."

Cassie turned around. She wanted to say no, tell her sister to find somebody else to bother, but her intent died with taking one look at her face. Helena had this special talent; you couldn't reject her. She'd look at you wide-eyed and plaster on her cutest smile, until you gave her what she wanted.

She was the little sister, after all. 

"Fine," Cassie grumbled, but she was vibrating with excitement nonetheless.

Cassie took one of her books from the bookshelf. It was about a princess fighting all kinds of monsters and her favourite book right now. She was very proud of reading it, because the book said it was for children aged 10 and she was only 8 years old and already reading it.

"I'll read one chapter and then you go and play with your dolls." Cassie used her stern voice, the one her mother used on them when they weren't tidying up their rooms.

"Okay!" Helena ran to her bed excitedly and flopped down on it with a loud thump. Cassie shook her head and climbed onto the bed too. She spread the duvet over both of them, until they sat in their own small cave. Then she reached out for the lamp on the bedside table, pulled it under the duvet and switched it on.

Lena looked at her in anticipation, light and shadow playing tricks around her. "Go."

_"Once upon a time, there was a princess and she was the strongest and mightiest in all her kingdom."_

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 2163**

Blood dripped from her mouth, the metallic taste a brand on her tongue. The man's screams of terror sounded like a victory march in her ears. She had bitten hard, but only hit the external jugular vein in his neck. 

Unfortunately.

An artery would have made a bigger mess, more blood spilling, a fast death.

Alas ---

Still, it had to hurt like hell and Cassie took pride in causing it. If she could see herself through someone else's eyes she'd probably question the image, but surviving wasn't gorgeous or accentuated with an Oscar-winning film score in the background. Her road to survival was paved with bloody nails, with dirt, with deep-rooted anger.

Hands grabbed her upper arms and forced her back, her shoulder crashing hard into a brick wall. This would bruise. Cassie bit back a wince. She wasn't allowed to show weakness, not when they were watching.

The Tall Man in his ugly red robe came around the corner, but halted immediately as he witnessed the mess in front of him.

Cassie smirked an ugly smile, hoping there was still some of the man's blood on her chin. Some of it had spilled on her white robe. That's what they got for dressing her up like a virgin goddess. 

She sure as hell was not.

The man in question clamped a hand over the heavily bleeding wound on his neck and cursed her wildly. "Bitch."

"Bite. Me. Asshole." 

"Enough." Tall Man put on his sick smile, his bad breath wafting in her direction. Cassie bared her teeth like a wolf. 

"What do you want?" he asked.

"My daughter." She spit the words into his face. Followed by actual spit. With every passing day, her defensiveness decreased and her hate for them took physical forms. Cassie knew exactly how much was at stake, right here and right now, but they didn't give her any other choice.

But to her infuriation, Tall Man didn't even acknowledge her attack.

"It is pleasant to see you up so soon. You could have just voiced your wish in a more civil way."

"I did. This is the only way around you," Cassie returned, sickeningly sweet. "I want my daughter."

"She is not yours, dear."

Cassie ignored his answer, even though it killed her from the inside out. She wanted to do nothing more than take her baby girl and run, as fast as her feet and the wind would carry them. She wanted to rip their hearts out with her bare hands. She wanted blood and revenge. 

"I want to see my daughter." She said it louder this time, with more force, the unspoken threat of rebellion in the undertones of her words.

He pondered his options, weighing the pros against the cons. After what seemed like endless seconds, he finally gestured towards the guards restraining her and started moving forward in the direction he came from.

Cassie followed him.

"You should name her," Tall Man yelled over his shoulder, too loud to not feel forced.

"You'll get her name over my dead body." 

Them not knowing her name was one of the few advantages Cassie had over them. It didn't have any direct effect at all, yet she counted it as a small victory. They could not have that.

Her daughter's birth should've been a reason to celebrate. In 1959, she had wanted nothing more than to finally meet their child, to share every small moment with Cole together.

But now her child's life was tainted with the future of what she'd grow up to be, of what she'd become, of what they'd mold her into. She was a week old and already at the mercy of a pack of psychopaths.

Sometimes in her darkest moments, when the hopelessness of her situation became too overwhelming to carry, she secretly wished she could stop her daughter from ever being born, to spare her the misery of a life like this.

It's not that she hadn't tried it.

She had. 

Once upon a time she had studied medicine, after all, despite her activity in the field of virology in recent years. Despite her lacking medical work in any field, other than stitching up bleeding wounds. But her pharmaceutical knowledge was still above average.

Cassie knew how to induce --- things.

They had allowed her to roam relatively free in the secluded areas and the kitchens had been included in that. Nobody had locked the herbs. They weren't dangerous, unless you wanted them to be, unless you knew how.

But it hadn't worked.

Not the first time.

Or the second.

Or the third.

Every single time the cramping had started, time had reset itself to the moment in the kitchen before she had swallowed them. Just like Hannah had meant to die, or at least to Jones' eyes, her baby had to be born. 

Time liked time travel and time liked the universe with her child in it.

Afterwards, acceptance had been --- easier, and her will to survive had only grown.

If she couldn't save her daughter from existing, she could at least save her from becoming the Destroyer of Time, a fate far worse than death.

Cassie memorized every single brick stone, every corner, every alcove on the way to her daughter's room. She knew she'd need the knowledge sooner rather than later. Parts of a plan had already formed in her mind, but it wasn't ready.

Not yet.

They entered the room her daughter was kept in. It was in a whole different wing of Titan, and Cassie knew they did it on purpose, to actively keep her as far away from her child as possible.

A ceiling-high window let in bright sunshine. It led directly to a rose garden, a labyrinth of thorns and flowers, and it scared her more than she'd ever dare to admit. Something about it was off.

"You have thirty minutes," he said and left it at that. She heard him walk away, but the guards weren't as considerate. Of course they weren't.

Cassie softly pushed her hands under her baby's back and neck and leaned her against her own chest. Her girl smelled of the very smell only newborns ever had. Her eyes were blinking lazily. She stroked her index finger over her rosy cheeks.

She was acutely aware of the eyes watching her every move, but she didn't care. These moments were for her alone. The feeling of her daughter's skin, her heartbeat - a - beating - heart - half of her DNA living in another body, it only belonged to her, them.

Cassie would save her.

And then she would make the army bleed.

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 1990**

The sun was too warm.

The people were too nice.

Their clothes were too black.

Helena hid in the kitchen, under the dining table. The mumbling of the living room was even more quiet here. She wanted them to go away, all these people in her home. They were too kind, many of them crying. They offered her their condolences. She hated the word. Condolences. She didn't even know how to write it.

The door opened and Lena could see the hem of a black dress, black polished shoes. A blonde waterfall of hair appeared in her vision and Cassie crawled under the table with her. 

She always knew where to find her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hiding. I want to be alone."

Cassie pressed her lips into a thin line. "Do you want me to go?"

Helena shook her head violently. "No, stay." 

She felt Cassie take her hand, leaning her body into hers. They sat there together forever, under table in their silent kitchen, without their mum baking cakes with them, without their mum doing her paperwork at the desk while they were studying.

"I miss Mum so much."

"Me too," Cassie admitted.

"I miss her voice. She once said I am destined for greatness," Helena whispered, like a secret. Her mother had often said stuff like this, all quiet and mysterious. She had never been allowed to talk about it with her sister, but she thought the rules didn't apply anymore. 

"Sounds like her," Cassie answered. She wrapped her arms all around Helena's body and held on tight.

Lena felt the tears come back. She wanted to rub them away, but couldn't even raise her arms, because Cassie was holding her so hard. Her eyes were wet and itching and she wanted to cry more.

Her mum would never come back.

All the people in black were here, because her mum was dead, because she would never see her again.

She and Cassie didn't even get to say goodbye to her.

Her mum was gone and they were left alone. How would their lives be from now on, without her? Without her good morning kisses and the goodnight stories, without her laughter, without _her_?

"We are going to survive this Lena; promise me, okay?" Cassie pleaded, tears running down her face too. “Promise me it’s going to be alright?”

"Okay."

"I'll always take care of you."

Helena knew it wasn’t a lie. 

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 2163**

Heavy footsteps resonated from behind. Cole picked up speed and found an abandoned room to hide in from the guards. It was impossible to distinguish between guards and other members of this weird order, so he considered all of them the enemy.

They all were his enemies, anyway.

It had taken him two days to find the perfect entrance and another two to find the general direction of where they kept Cassie. Those were four days too many for his liking.

The men moved passed the alcove, not noticing him hiding in the shadows. Cole slowly followed them to their destination, always particularly keen to leave enough distance between them.

He couldn’t afford to be caught.

He had a backup plan - at least part of one - but it would still throw him back an awful lot. Even with the aid of time travelling he was always running out of time.

The hallways were eerily quiet, save for the footsteps of the men he was following. Every sound echoed through the marble halls of Titan. It was a maze of corridors and rooms, each one looking like the other.

Cole didn’t like the future, this future.

He would do his best to stop it.

The men in the robes replaced another pair in front of a ceiling-high door. They didn’t talk at all, only walked away, thankfully in the other direction.

Now or never.

Cole gripped the shaft of his knife at his hip and pulled it out, the blade reflecting parts of his dirty face in the dim light. He sneaked further towards the corner and then he attacked.

He caught the first man with a cut to his neck; he was dead before his body even touched the floor. The second one was faster and took a jump back as he saw his fallen colleague. He wanted to scream a warning, but to Cole’s luck the mask on his face muffled the sound.

Cole fought back against a punch to his gut and struck his blade into the guy’s neck in a careless moment. Blood splattered all over the wall, but he didn’t care. He didn’t have time or sympathy and they weren’t deserving of it anyway.

He pushed open the door, ready to fight against any guards inside the room. Cole wasn’t sure what he had expected, but not this.

His gaze fell on the woman clad in a long, white dress looking out of the windows of her prison. Her hair cascaded down her back in long, blonde waves. She still looked like herself, though paler, weaker.

“Cassie.”

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 1994**

It had happened again. Cassie wanted to throttle her. She stormed from the bathroom up the staircase and right into her sister's room, without even knocking at the door first. 

"Ever heard of privacy, sis?"

"Did you take my lip gloss again?"

Helena froze. "Noooo ---"

"Lena!" Cassie put her hands on her hips. Helena looked somewhat guilty, but not enough. "Give it back, you thief." 

Helena stood up from her desk chair and rummaged in the back of the drawer of her bedside table. With every passing second Cassie wanted to scream at her a little more.

“Lena.”

“Chill.” Helena threw the lip gloss at her in one swift move. Cassie caught it immediately.

"Buy your own one."

“If you were a better sister you’d share it.”

“If you start being a better sister first.”

"I'm sure Mum and Dad adopted you," Helena hissed. 

"Pfft. If one of us is adopted it's you, Lee. You don't even really look like them." It was her go-to insult, because she knew it bothered her little sister to no end.

“I don’t have time for this. Just don’t use my stuff without asking anymore.”

Cassie ran back downstairs into the bathroom. She only had a few more minutes before her friend would be here to pick her up for the cinema. She applied a layer of lip gloss and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

There was a sudden movement in the bathroom mirror. “Shit, Lena, do you want to give me a heart attack?”

Helena bit her lip. “I’m sorry for stealing your gloss, okay?”

Cassie flicked her ear. “I know. I’m sorry for being mean to you.” 

They continued to pinch each other’s various body parts, until the doorbell rang.

Things were fine again. Just like that. 

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 2163**

At first, she thought she was hallucinating. Maybe her brain was playing a cruel trick on her, bringing her images to drive her further into insanity. And wouldn’t it be fitting for her to finally go mad, like the myth she had been named after? A life filled with prophecies nobody believed in, until everything became numb? 

But then he said her name and the walls of her whole world crumbled to pieces.

Cassie walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Their foreheads touched and she could finally breathe in his scent. Oh how she had missed him. For just a few precious seconds, the world stopped moving and time stopped passing.

“Cole.”

“I’m here. It’s over.”

Instead of saying those words he could’ve just as easily poured a bucket of cold water over her head. He didn’t have any knowledge of what had happened to her in the last few months, of what had happened to them.

Of their daughter’s existence.

“Cole ---“

He took her hand, lay it over his heart. “I have a tether for you.”

“A lot has happened since --- “

He immediately stilled, his eyes growing wider and wider. “Cassie ---“

“How much time has passed for you since --- we were separated?” She hoped using a softer, vague term for their ordeal will make it easier.

“A little over three months.”

“It’s been seven for me.”

His response, his pity, it was too much. Cassie laid her hands on his cheeks and pulled him closer. She needed him close, needed contact with another human being.

But she didn’t want his pity.

Never.

"How will Jones know to pull you back?"

"I have a remote control for my tether." Cole pulled a small piece out of his coat pocket. "I activate the tether and she knows to get me back. I have a second one for you too."

"I can't leave."

The finality in her voice gave him pause. Cole didn’t know, not yet, but it wasn’t just about her anymore. She had to think about their child too.

She had to save their daughter from becoming the Witness.

"I won’t leave. Not without you," he said.

"You will leave without me. You have to take somebody else.”

"What? Cassie ---"

She started moving outside her room and almost tripped over the dead bodies of the men guarding her. Cassie looked back to Cole. There was no mercy to be found. Neither could she find any in herself. 

"Follow me."

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 1996**

Cassie paced up and down the living room. Nothing made sense anymore. She had already lost her mother. She couldn't lose her sister too. But the call from the detective in charge with the investigation hadn't sounded promising.

Only resigned.

Her sister hadn't left a single trace when she had vanished into thin air.

But out of everything she had seen and heard and felt in the last few weeks since her sister's disappearance, her father's reaction was the worst of it all.

It was pathetic.

She couldn't even imagine it in her worst nightmare, but he simply didn't care about it. He appeared to be resigned instead of worried, not putting as much emotion into it as he should.

Something was very wrong, but Cassie couldn't put her finger onto it.

"What are we going to do now?" she asked after Everett got off the phone.

"Nothing."

Cassie looked up and straight into his eyes. "Our family is falling apart and you don't care! Helena has been missing for three weeks and you do nothing. You don't even care."

"I do care," he answered weakly. His words were forced, clipped.

"Sure looks like it, Dad."

"Cassandra." There was something final in his posture. He was a man broken beyond repair and just then Cassie could finally see it in a new light. His eyes were haunted, but so were hers.

He had lost a daughter, but she had lost a sister. 

"Helena will not come back."

"How do you know? There is still a chance."

Her father looked out of the window. Outside the rain fell in a steady, mellow rhythm. It wasn't 'the end of the world is near' kind of weather. Merely a cleansing moment for the earth.

She only felt tired.

"One day you're going to understand, Cassandra. I don't know when and I don't know how, but there'll be answers. And I hope you will find them."

Good lord, he made her so angry. "I have no idea where you're going with this, Dad, but you need help."

Without warning he punched his clenched fist through the windowpane and broke it into thousands little shards. The glass cut into his skin, blood flowing from his under arm and hand.

Cassie gaped at him, mouth wide open. The shock paralyzed her.

"I promised."

"You promised what?" she screamed now. In a moment of sudden clarity she took the tablecloth and pressed it on her father's arm under heavy pressure. The white fabric turned blood red.

"I'd take care of her." Her father looked like a sinner pleading for forgiveness. "And I did. Always remember that." 

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 2163**

 

They ran so fast, her lungs burned with the lack of oxygen. Time was of essence and they had to succeed, there was no other option for them. Her quickly thought-out makeshift plan had to succeed.

Hallways blurred around them as they rounded corner after corner. Titan was too damn big for her liking. Her legs carried her faster and faster, until she promptly halted before the door to her daughter's room.

"There are going to be guards inside the room. Three men. They have to die." Cassie's tone didn't permit any other version of events. Cole nodded, handing her a knife from his belt. She had seen the other guards he had killed. 

The handle was hard and solid in her hands, the blade glistening in the light of the ceiling lamps.

Cole put a hand at her wrist. "What’s inside this room, Cassie?"

She let out a long breath. This was the moment she had been waiting for, the moment she had been dreading for months. "We exist outside of time. The tea made out of the leaves of the red forest --- it changed us."

He didn't move, only listened. It seemed like it would be one of the most important conversations of their lives.

"Remember 1959? We were in love. We were a family."

"You know I do."

"I was pregnant."

"I remember."

Cassie swallowed, searching for the right words. "We have a daughter and the Army of the 12 Monkeys believes her to be the Witness."

It felt like a punch to the gut. Cassie could see how everything dawned on him slowly, sand trickling through an hourglass.

_They existed outside of time._

_They had a daughter._

_The army ---_

"They fucking ---"

Cassie pulled him close and cut of his sentence with a bold kiss. His lips were dry and soft under her own, his stubble rubbing against her skin. "This is why we save her."

She opened the door, ready for whatever they would do to her.

It didn’t matter; she would win.

The guards were on alert in seconds. And even though they outnumbered them, the guards didn’t stand a chance. Cassie fought like a warrior goddess, a woman scorned, a woman who had to give away a piece of herself.

Cole took out one of them, and by then the other two were dead on the ground. Their blood stained her hands and even the doctor inside her, usually loud and vocal about every murder she committed, was silent now. 

The baby in the crib started fussing, quietly crying. Cassie picked her up, rocking her at her chest, back into some kind of sleep. Cole only stood there watching them.

Cassie kissed the crown of her daughter’s head. She tucked the blanket tighter around her body.  

“I know you well enough to know what you’re going to say next and my answer is No,” Cole said.

She put the baby into his arms, watched as he adjusted his arms to the unfamiliar weight of her small body.

"Please take her with you, Cole."

He alternated between staring at her and the baby in his arms. "Cass ---"

Cassie shoved her hands into his coat pockets and fished out the second syringe with the tether microchips and the remote control. She exposed some of her daughter’s forearm, took the syringe.

The thought of voluntarily subjecting her daughter to time travel, letting her go through this at such a young age, made her stomach revolt. But there was no other choice.

“I’m so sorry,” Cassie whispered. The needle penetrated the skin and she injected the serum. Her daughter’s screams grew louder, turning into a high–pitched wailing. Cole tried to soothe her as much as possible, but there was no aid for it right now. 

She pressed the button on the control.

“Take her with you and then get me.” Cassie stepped forward and kissed her daughter's forehead; she put a brief kiss on Cole's lips, his cheeks, his earlobe. Then she whispered her plan and their daughter's name into his ear. 

And Cole nodded, before time claimed him back.

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 1983**

The June night was rather cool, but the slump was more than welcome after an unusual early heat wave. Claire had opened all the windows and the front door to let some fresh air into the house.

Everett Railly sat over heavily classified NSA documents and once more wished his job was easier. Jeremy was a friend, trying to impress his superiors, and that was all the reason for saying yes to his offer. He typically kept his nose out of the government's business; safer for everybody involved.

A loud bang from hallway jolted him out of his thoughts and he briefly wondered if Cassie had woken up so soon after going to bed. Everett put down his reading glasses and took a quick look out of his home office.

But what he saw was definitely not his daughter.

In his hallway, next to the potted plant and the coat stand, crouched a man on the floor. He was bleeding heavily from his nose. He also held something wrapped in a blanket in his arms, clutching it like his life depended on it.

"You better have a good reason for being here, because I advise you to leave my house." Everett had no idea where his calm demeanor came from, but it was preferable to hasty, rash decisions.

"Everett Railly?" The man slowly rose to his feet, making only minimal movements. He apparently knew how to behave himself in a situation like this. The bundle in his arms revealed itself to be a sleeping baby. 

"I will call the police."

"No! I need to talk to you."

He could hear the noise had attracted his wife. "Stay back, Claire!” Everett shouted. He gestured at the man in front of him. “And you better explain yourself.” 

"You would never believe me anyway."

"Try us."

The man ground his teeth together. "I know your daughter."

"Our daughter is two years old!" He almost lost his temper.

"I know her from a different time, an older version of her," the man swallowed past a lump in his throat. "My name is James Cole. And I know how it sounds to your ears; I wouldn't believe me either. But the future, a future your daughter --- your grandchildren will live in, is in danger. We are fighting a war to save us all."

"Mr. Cole ---," Claire started a sentence, but Cole only shook his head.

"Listen, I know, I know. But I travelled through time to bring her here. She is Cassandra’s daughter.”

“Sir ---“

But he didn’t even listen to Everett’s objection.

“Raise her like your own. Tell people she is your daughter. Protect her. Her name is ---," he halted, as the baby started fussing. Cole rearranged her small body in his arms, wrapping the blankets a little tighter around her and she fell quiet again. "Her name is Helena."

He held out the baby to them. Everett looked at his wife, but Claire was lacking a plan just as much as he was. The man seemed insane; there was no way around it. His clothes were stiff with dirt and he reeked. And his story was wild, unbelievable.

Time travel didn't exist.

And his daughter was not in the midst of a war, was not a mother yet. It was impossible. She was a sweet little girl with light blonde hair, who loved to sit on the porch swing and play with their cat.

But Cole's eyes spoke a different language. He wasn't lying, Everett knew. He couldn't explain, but he knew. There was no logical explanation for it.

He stepped forward and accepted the girl Cole put in his arms. She was asleep now and breathing softly. It had been awhile since Cassie had been so small.

He just couldn't quite believe the girl in his arms was his granddaughter, when his toddler-aged daughter slept in her bedroom upstairs.

"Helena," Everett repeated her name in an attempt to say anything at all.

Cole nodded. Pain shone in his eyes, a deep regret nothing could alleviate. Everett looked back at Claire, who helplessly shrugged with her shoulders. 

"We will get her back in a few years. But for now, for now she needs to live with you. Prepare her for this, maybe," Cole stopped. "Softly, step by step."

Everett nodded.

"You can’t ever tell anybody about this. Do you understand? You could change the future in ways we can’t control."

"We will keep your secret."

And then Cole was gone.

One second he had been standing in front of them, occupying the same space, and suddenly there was nothing but thin air.

"You saw him too, Claire, right?"

"Yes." His wife put a hand on his shoulder and peeked down at the baby waking up, proof enough of the man's visit. "She's a pretty little thing. Her eyes look just the same."

"Like Casssandra's?"

"No. Like Cole's." 

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 2163**

“Come on, Cole,” she mumbled to herself.

Guards were coming for her and judging by the sheer noise of their footfalls it was too many for her to fight alone.

She would, of course, because it was all she had left.

But her instinct preferred flight over fight right now.

The air in front of her shimmered and there was Cole again, only minutes after he had left her behind.

“Did you do it?” she asked, hope and terror evident in her voice.

“Yes.”

Relief flooded her body. Everything else was secondary.

Her daughter was safe.

A sharp pain brought her back to reality. Cole was injecting the serum into her bloodstream and Cassie let it happen.

For the first time in so many months the weight of her daughter’s world fell from her shoulders. She was safe.

Cole pulled her close, anchor in the storm.

Flying through time had never felt so freeing. 

 

* * *

 

**YEAR 1996**

Cassie couldn't take her eyes away from the blonde girl, walking home from the bus. She looked exactly as she had the day Cassie lost her when she had been 16 years old.

This was exactly the day she lost her.

The day her sister went missing forever.

She had been trying to find the culprit for countless, agonizing years; blaming anything and anybody on her sister's disappearance, when it had been her fault all along. 

They had unintentionally splintered at this place in 1994 for a few seconds, a failure in the sequence, but they had seen a younger version of Helena walking by.

And Helena had seen them.

Now, in the right time, she hadn't noticed them yet.

"Cassie?" Cole squeezed her hand. They had been standing together like this before, the fateful day the young Cole had met Ramse. "We don't have to take her with us. We can let her stay."

"I don't think time will let us do this."

"But we could try, if you want. She was your sister before she was our daughter."

A maniacal laugh escaped her throat; the whole situation was too surreal and this sentence got straight to the heart of it. The naked pain in Cole's eyes was almost too much to bear, but Cassie reckoned she must look just as bad.

"Losing her back then almost killed me," she said. "But if we don't take her with us now, we'll change the timeline and there might be no going back from this."

"But what if it's exactly what the timeline needs? What if ---" Cole left his thought unfinished. “Death can be undone; love cannot.”

Cassie continued to watch the girl on the other side of the road. Her dark blonde her got caught in the wind, while she fumbled with the headphones of her Walkman. She was as carefree as it was possible for a 13-year-old girl to be.

_Of two sisters one is always the watcher, one the dancer._

There was no doubt which part Cassie occupied in their story.

How could she take this away from her? How had another version of her been able to do this?  

“We don’t know what will happen,” she said, albeit weakly.

Cole squeezed her hand reassuringly. “But we are going to find out. Together.”

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> did you know that the cassandra from the greek mythology had a twin brother named helenus? and that saint helena, mother of constantin the great, was rumored to be the daughter of a man called coel hen/king cole? did you also know i'm a huge nerd? 
> 
> the quote 'of two sisters' is from the great poet louise glück.
> 
> please let me know what you think about this! i'm also @ mightyjemma.tumblr.com


End file.
